What to do if You’re Experiencing Financial Infidelity
There are many reasons why financial infidelity occurs, ranging from sheer entitlement to embarrassment over debt. Addiction or mental health issues could cause people to have disregard or unawareness of the repercussions of financial actions, both minor and major.
Before addressing financial infidelity, you should try to decipher intent. You have a right to be angry, but shame never corrects behavior. However, getting to the root of the problem can.
The best thing to do is talk to the person, but before doing so, ask yourself:
Are their actions malicious or selfish?
If so, are they selfish because they’re interested in reaching their own financial goals?
If so, is the source of your anger due to different priorities or negligence?
If it’s negligence, do you feel safe speaking to them about changing?
If you don’t or don’t know what to say, do you have someone who can help you?
Are you able to approach your partner in a non-confrontational way?
If not, can you write a script or get a financial advisor to help?
If you’re in a new relationship, you can use this opportunity to determine if you can get on the same page about money. If you’re married, you’ll need to review past budgets made together and try to get your plans back on track.
Repeated financial infidelity may need to be addressed in couples counseling, but if you’re afraid to confront your partner, that may be a sign to get out.
Couples have unique financial situations and backgrounds, which can affect how they view money. Keeping the money discussion open with your partner is best for the relationship.